Today in a meeting I was verbally attacked by one of the other senior leaders in the meeting. It was completely inappropriate, and that will be dealt with at a later time. Ahead of my response, I noticed that my fight or flight sympathetic nervous response kicked in. Effectively, my heart raced, and I was ready for battle. While that would be great if this was a physical altercation, in a business meeting that means I have to reset myself.
Are there effective strategies/training techniques one can employee to eliminate this type of behavioral response? I'd love to be at the point where I can calmly and effectively deal with these types of situations without the fight or flight response.
Me Too!
I have the same problem, although mine is generally hostile customers but staff & board members can generate a similar response!
Last week I had 2 situations that challenged my ability to act professionally. Here's what I did:
- I first acknowledged (very quickly, in my head) that I was starting to lose my temper.
- I took a deep breath & stopped talking. (That gave the other person more time to rant at me, but I was effectively taking back my self-control)
- I reminded myself (again, in my head) that I couldn't fix this problem. I could only deal with it rationally even if the other person was not.
The effect was that I still had a racing heart & was pretty mad, but I was able to control my tone and my words. They weren't calm & my usual style but it was better than the time this happened before. In order to be professional, I need to teach my body to calm down in the face of battle.
The ranting eventually quits & believe me, if there are witnesses, they all know who took the professional, high road. The first time, you might even feel like you "lost" the battle by just letting them continue, but if the first words out of your mouth are calm & professional, you win. It's hard to put a price on integrity.
The longer I deal with these situations the better I get at it. Actually, kids are great practice for this. Find a situation where you generally lose your temper. Instigate a battle, learn to control your temper. The point is to get the "in your head" stuff to come out as automatically as possible. I wouldn't recommend trying it on your spouse however. *Grin* (When you're late & stuck in traffic is another good time)
It's like the Christmas rule - it's hard to get good at something that only happens once a year.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on.
www.changingminds.org has been a great resource for me in many situations involving high emotions.
Great Advice
Thanks for the great advice. Taking the high road is always advantageous. My boss knows what's going on with this particular person and is privy to it. My non-reaction was probably the most useful thing I could do in this situation. I like the idea of practicing - just not on my spouse.