I'm trying to get started giving positive feedback but often find myself spending a long time wordsmithing what to say. It might be a little bit of procrastination to spend so long thinking about it, but I feel that if I say something stupid it will negate the feedback.
I'm looking for suggestions on how to say the "here's what happens" part of the model. I'm keeping the examples a bit vague to avoid job-specific jargon. I have no problem stating the "when you..." part.
Ex. 1: When you let me know of something that has an impact on one of your committed deadlines, here's what happens...
[this is where I need help]
my first thought, "I appreciate being kept in the loop, thanks." This sounds weak and trite to me, though. "I can better plan the deparment resources" sounds stilted.
Ex: 2: When you recognize a high priority interuption and get right on it without waiting for me to assign it to you....
"Here's what happens. I see you using good judgment, and preventing unnecessary delays. Keep up the good work." This sounds corny to me. "i see that you are dedicated to doing a good job" again sounds corny.
Ex. 3: When you prepared that report with the right amount of supporting details...
"Here's what happens. I don't have to spend time re-working it. Keep up the good work." This sounds selfish to me.
Ex. 4: When you volunteered to take on that unpleasant task...
"Here's what happens. I am impressed that you are willing to do your job even if it is not fun."
After re-reading the above examples, I guess my main concern is that the comments I make are mostly about me and how I react to the event. Shouldn't the comments be more company-centered, like "effective reports keep costs down?" That sounds really stiff to me, but is in fact the result of me not having to re-work a report.
I welcome all suggestions. In fact, I'd love to see a thread on the forum where people post the actual words they have said when giving feedback. If there was a long list of real examples it may help others get started wtih feedback, too.
A couple thoughts
Here are a couple thoughts...
Ex. 1 - Here's what happens: I'm able to adjust my expectations for the task, and assign work to others without bogging you down. Nice job.
or: I'm able to adjust my expectations for the task which really reduces friction if you were to have missed the deadline without saying anything, thank you for that.
Ex. 2 - Here's what happens: I can see that you have your eye on what is important for the group. Keep it up.
or: It helps me realize that you're ready for some more advanced tasks. Strong work. (I use 'strong work' a lot personally, maybe weird, but I like that it is a bit more descriptive and is a tad off the beaten path as far as verbiage goes.)
or: I'm able to focus my attentions on other issues knowing that you're able to keep our 'big ball' projects in the air without supervision. Thank you.
Ex. 3 - Here's what happens: I'm able to do a 'quick review' before sending it to upper management for action which saves a lot of time, well done.
or: that really shows that you're thinking of questions people may have of your conclusions. Great job.
Ex. 4 - Here's what happens: It shows that as a peer leader, you aren't afraid to get your hands 'dirty'. Thank you.
or: I know that the work will be better quality than if I had to assign it to an unwilling candidate. Nice job, thanks.
I think it's completely OK to explain that it helps you personally. When your boss tells you that what you did actually helps him/her personally, doesn't that feel great, knowing that not only you're being noticed, but the dude that writes your reviews notices it? That's awesome. Also, depending on the personality, it's also great to explain how their actions have great consequences to them personally... ie. this really helps me have great content for your review.... (maybe)
I hope this helps.
~12string~
my thoughts
I personally think that sometimes it sounds better when you take out the "here's what happens". I only do this when giving positive feedback though. But I agree with you, it does take some effort to find the right words.
Felt the same way - for what its worth...
For what its worth - i felt the same way you did starting out, and thought I had to be 'perfect'. But like anything new - you suck at it for a while. and thats ok.
I finally gave up - and just told my staff "Hey, we are all new to this, so it may feel a little clunky at first, but after a while we'll get used to it and it will feel natural. Thanks for being part of making things better". (by the way, am pretty sure this is Mark/Mike's guideance begin with...)
It worked ok for me - and I think it was helpful to show there was a softer side to my high-D.
Thanks,
George
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